


the secret of the boy you never kissed

by ivermectin



Category: Gossip Girl (TV 2007)
Genre: Conversations, Friends to lovers (implied), Inspired by a Belle & Sebastian song, Introspection, M/M, POV Nate Archibald, Pre-Slash, Takes place during S2, there is no Nate/Jenny in this universe, they do lonely better than he does, you can't honestly tell me that Daniel LonelyBoy Humphrey wouldn't be into Belle & Sebastian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:14:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27107776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivermectin/pseuds/ivermectin
Summary: “Are you as lonely as Gossip Girl thinks you are?” Nate asks.Dan smiles. There’s no humour to it. “I’m lonelier,” he says.
Relationships: Nate Archibald/Dan Humphrey
Comments: 17
Kudos: 23





	the secret of the boy you never kissed

**Author's Note:**

> the title, as well as the vibe of this whole piece, is from the song ["Expectations" by Belle and Sebastian](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpvK0XEOUOo).  
> i wanted to write d&n connecting, like, seeing each other fully / understanding each other on a deeper level, so that's what this is - or what it attempts to be. enjoy!

Nate’s first impression of the song is that sound of the guitar strums with a pace that feels hurried while also laid-back, and there’s something soft in the roughness of the lead singer’s voice. None of these are opinions he can actually express, though, they’re all too contrary, so he just sighs and lets his head rest back on the cushion he's leaning against as he lies there, sprawled on the Humphreys' couch.

It’s a Sunday afternoon at the loft. Rufus is at Lily’s, Jenny is fuck-knows-where doing something that involves a social agenda, and Dan is here like he has nowhere else to be, which, yes, he lives here, _well done, Nate._

Dan’s sitting on the counter, leaning back, singing along with the chorus, his voice soft and calming in a different way from the lead singer’s. Nate thinks he could drown in Dan’s voice. Dan’s a contradiction, too, his head tipped back like he’s singing in an empty room just for himself, but his body angled towards Nate in a way that makes Nate feel like Dan would be a natural performer, if he ever did open mics.

Nate finds himself staring at the long column of Dan’s throat, and Dan’s singing the chorus, some depressing thing that goes along the lines of “ _Hey, you've been used, you’re confused, write a song, I'll sing along; are you calm? settle down”_ and something about being on the top of the world. He also catches a lyric about not being able to afford a blazer, and he frowns, thinking.

The song ends, and Dan gives him a little smile. “What’s the verdict?”

 _You have a beautiful voice,_ Nate thinks. Instead, he says, “Play it again. This time, I want the lyrics.”

Dan smiles, his gaze distant, thoughtful and strangely melancholic. “This used to be Vanessa’s favourite song. It’s called ‘Expectations’ by Belle and Sebastian.” He types into his laptop quickly, hands it over to Nate, a lyrics website open.

“When I showed Serena, she asked if I’d got it off the Juno soundtrack,” Dan says, smiling fondly at the memory. “I had to tell her, no, Vanessa and I used to listen to Belle and Sebastian together. Every day after school, for months, we’d sit in my bedroom, sometimes on the floor, sometimes on the bed, just listening to albums by them.”

“Huh,” Nate says. “They seem to have that alienation during your teens and that outsider feel down. If a feeling is a genre, they get that, don’t they? The feeling of not belonging?”

“Yeah,” Dan says. He’s staring at Nate now, like he’s never seen him before. “You’re like, the golden boy of the Upper East Side. I thought you’d fit in.”

“I’m living with you in your loft,” Nate points out, and he feels a bit guilty at it even now, like he’s being an imposition. “I expected you of all people to know that things and people aren’t always what they seem.”

“Yeah,” Dan says, swallowing audibly.

Nate scans the lyrics. He relates to this song a lot more than he expected to. For starters, it’s called Expectations, and Nate was born into a world full of those. Political expectations. Familial expectations. Status related expectations. Don’t ever let anyone sense weakness, don’t ever ask for help kind of expectations. And here he is in Dan Humphrey’s kitchen, of all places.

“Are you as lonely as Gossip Girl thinks you are?” Nate asks.

Dan smiles. There’s no humour to it. “I’m lonelier,” he says.

The music is still playing, it’s on the lyric that says _you’re a star, you’ll go far._

“Come here,” Nate says, opening his arms to Dan.

Dan gives him a hesitant smile. He does.

**Author's Note:**

> [anyway i am in LOVE with penn's singing voice like how is he so good at so many things?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bIfegQa0rtI)


End file.
